So...I had a bad day..

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
--Daniel Powter

Yeah so it was one of those days when maybe it would have been better if I never got out of the bed! But I did, as some of you know I lost my job in June and also my papa broke his hip so I started taking care of him, and then he got lung cancer again, and then other health problems..so for several months I was running him to doctors and hospitals and blah blah...never ending..several mornings I was up at 5 am or earlier to take him to special procedures...so I was very busy but now he is getting better, still having problems with his new leg but nothing major..going to some rehab that is almost done, Well in exchange for my time Papa pays my truck payment, and unemployment pays the rest of my bills. Well today in so many words papa pretty much lets me know that he is getting better and once he is, he will no longer need my help..so I better get a job soon! This was really hard..because I am looking for work..this has been the hardest it has ever been to find work..so if I don't get a job soon then I am going to have to turn in my truck to the bank, and then I have no clue how I will find a job with no transporation. I cried half the day, Ive looked online for hours looking for work..I feel like I am losing it..I have went into "crazy thoughts" today, my emotions are running high, I have prayed and prayed and prayed when will it come? When will I find that job that is steady and pays enough for me to cover all my bills? there is no point in getting a low paying job because then I would still lose my truck and then have no transportation.. I have to make a certain amount to just survive. I have hit a low point in my life, I know it could get worse, but can I handle anymore? I just keep thinking about this verse.."Trust in the LORD with all your heart,And lean not on your own understanding;In all your ways acknowledge Him,And He shall direct your paths" Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV I just have to keep trusting, it has been very difficult to do, but there is no other choice, if I don't I would just lose it. This made me really emotional but I think also it has something to do with tomorrow is the anniversary of my best friend's death. It has been 8 years and I miss her so much, I long for the day we will see each other again, I know she is in the presence of the Lord, I will never let her memory die, she forever lives in my heart <3 Sorry this was not some inspirational blog today...it was just me venting and asking for your prayers...please pray for me, I really need it!


Be Blessed!